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Bernard 'Bernie' Boyles

Born in November '76, Bernie grew up in Knaphill in South East England. Interminally dull as a child, things improved when he left home for a (wasted) university education during which the long term effects of alcohol have cost him a good 50% of his brain cells. Bernie is still quite dull on occasion, and his long distance seperation from his friends can only serve to spare them from comatose evenings infront of the 'telly' and 52 hour sessions playing "Silent Hill" and "Midnight Club".

This was written by Rich. And the following was written by Carla's Mum.

Carla Ellen Mattison,

was born in Rinteln Military Hospital in West Germany. An unattractive baby her saving grace was the ability to sleep for 90% of the time. Fortunately, this has not changed and when pursuing a career in teaching she utilised her full sleeping capabilities: in lectures, in halls of residence, behind the bar and chiefly whilst writing essays. Carla has not currently noticed how dull Bernie seems to be as she is asleep most of the time. When she is awake for the other 10% she is very bouncy and takes this enthusiasm to the shops with her. Carla’s shoe collection is memorable, there is no shoe shop left unturned in the northern hemisphere which has lead to her spending 365 shoe shopping days in New Zealand. Since her departure from the UK several shoe shops have gone into liquidation but the Japanese market has increased four fold.